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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24299323">Show And Tell</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyJustAngst/pseuds/LiterallyJustAngst'>LiterallyJustAngst</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:08:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,028</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24299323</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyJustAngst/pseuds/LiterallyJustAngst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(OKAY YALL THIS ONE IS VERY DARK)</p><p>A group therapy session organized by Charlie ends up revealing a hell of a lot more about their resident Radio Demon than they thought it would, especially when the topic of their past lives came up. </p><p>(I'm gonna be honest, this is pretty much just an excuse to share my personal HC as to what Alastor's life was)<br/>(It's really dark and angsty)<br/>(PLEASE read the tags and the warnings)<br/>(Alastor is probably pretty OOC but like-)<br/>(It be like that)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alastor &amp; Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor &amp; Charlie Magne, Alastor &amp; Husk &amp; Niffty (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor &amp; Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor &amp; Niffty (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor &amp; Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>115</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>holY SHIT IF YALL HAVEN'T READ THE TAGS YET PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ THEM</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Angel sighed as he finished his speech. </p>
<p>	“Yep, that’s my life. Died of a drug overdose, big shock, huh?” He joked, a weak smile on his face. </p>
<p>Husk, Nifty, and Vaggie had already gone. They were doing what Charlie called ‘group therapy’ where they took turns recounting their lives and what led to their descent to hell. Alastor was the only one who had yet to talk. </p>
<p>Charlie turned to look at the deer demon, but he didn’t meet her eyes. Instead, he glanced at Husk, who gave him a look that was as close to concern as they had ever seen. Husk gave the smallest of smiles. </p>
<p>Alastor sighed. </p>
<p>	“I doubt I have a choice, right Charlie?” The radio demon said, his grin still wide as ever.</p>
<p>	“You don’t have to talk if you aren’t comfortable, but it only seems fair to share too.” The princess responded.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	“What, are you embarrassed?” Angel taunted, trying to rile the demon up, as always. Alastor shot him a glance, though Husk glared at him more than the target in question did. </p>
<p>Alastor just shook himself slightly, as if dusting himself off. </p>
<p>	“I don’t know if you all would particularly enjoy my life story. It isn’t an incredibly happy one, if I have to be honest.” The deer said, smile thin. </p>
<p>Charlie gave him an encouraging smile and Alastor sighed before sitting back and looking up towards the ceiling.</p>
<p>	“Alright, I suppose we’ll start then.” He took a deep breath, “My mother, Father, and I lived together in a small house in the bayou. My mother was a beautiful lady, she had the voice of an angel and she spoke both french and english. She taught me piano and how to cook. My father was a man who lived in the south alone. My mother fell in love with him many years ago, before he began to drink and deteriorate.” He paused.</p>
<p>	“My father was rarely home, he spent most of his time out hunting or drinking. I spent most of my time either at school or at home helping my mother. My father was a violent man. He came home late most nights, intoxicated and enraged. He beat on my mother more than he did me, but we both had our fair share. I was a scrawny kid, the only exercise I really got was running, since Mama and I had created a system where when my father got home I would run to a safe point behind our house and stay there until she came to fetch me.”</p>
<p>Angel started to regret pushing Alastor to speak. If this was just the start then this wasn’t looking great. Somehow, the deer demon had kept a wide grin on his face the whole time.</p>
<p>	“Mama and I were happy most of the time, we cared for each other and we were all we needed. Papa taught me only how to hunt, and he spent more time beating me than shooting deer when we went out together. Mama taught me piano, how to sing, how to speak without an accent, she taught me french, how to cook, how to dance. She was my angel.” His grin softened to something wistful. “Mama wanted me to be good, to be kind. Papa wanted me to be weak and scared and broken. We couldn’t leave Papa though, since he was the main source of income despite everything. We needed the money, and Mama couldn’t get a job. I was 6 when it started to get really bad.” </p>
<p>	“He would beat on her every night, to the point that she couldn’t walk. She protected me as much as she could, but he got to me a good bit too. She started to dance less and sing less, she was quiet and docile. Like a flower that wilted too soon. She got pregnant, and though I’m certain she didn’t want to make it, she was willing to keep it. I cooked for her and cleaned for her. I spent less time at school. I didn’t mind, I got to spend more time with my Mama.”</p>
<p>He paused, his grin tight and small. Charlie had tears in her eyes already. Husk looked pained, though it seemed like he’d already heard this. Nifty looked sympathetic. Vaggie had a small scowl on her face, but her eye did have some pity in it. </p>
<p>	“One day, I had to go to school. I wish I had stayed home. I would have if I knew what would happen. I got home and Mama was nowhere to be found in the house. I checked the yard, and there she was. She had hung herself from the live oak that we used to dance and read under. I found two letters under her body. One was for me, the other was for my father. I read both and burnt my father’s. I didn’t feel that he deserved anything from her. I know my letter word for word.” He smiled bitterly, reaching into his breast pocket and pulling out a small, folded square of paper. He unfolded it and, without looking at it, he recited the words on it. </p>
<p>	“It says: ‘My Al, <br/>I’m sorry. Ain’t that what you’re supposed to say first? Now, baby, know that I love you with my whole heart and soul. Your Papa’s a bad, bad man. Don’t let him control you, son. He’s gonna try and blame you for this, but he ain’t got the right. If anything, this is his fault. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, sweetheart, don’t you dare try what I’m bout to try. I ain’t wanna see you anywhere in the afterlife until you’re nice and well past 60. Find yourself a lady, and you treat her right, son. (Or a boy, I ain’t bouta judge my baby’s interests.) You get yourself a nice house and a nice job and you live a life far far away from this whole mess, you hear me? I love you, so so much. I’m gonna miss you, loves. Stay safe.<br/>-Your Mama’.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. It gets worse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As the title says, It gets worse.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yall if you haven't gotten the memo yet, READ THE TAGS. Also mild emetophobia warning because there is a lot of puking going on.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alastor paused after finishing the letter. His smile tighter than before. </p>
<p>	“Papa came home an hour after I did. He raged as soon as he saw her. He cut her down, screaming about how she done and left him despite all of his efforts. He shouted about how she ain’t got the right to leave, how he owns her.” He paused, his accent slipping as he began to pay less attention to keeping it tamed. “Now, Husker, you think you could cover Nifty’s ears? You know what comes next. And, Charlie, Vaggie, Angel, if any o’ y’all need me to stop, just say the word.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He took a deep breath. </p>
<p>	“When he cut her down from the tree, he was practically mad. He got down on all fours like some sorta animal and tore her dress off. He screamed and hollered about how she was a whore and how she ain’t got no right to go nowhere. I watched from the porch as he violated my Mama’s corpse. I watched as he raped her dead body. I couldn’t stand it. My Mama wasn’t bouta escape only to be forced right back into this. I went inside. I grabbed my Papa’s rifle. And I shot his head clean off. It took one single shot, almost point blank. He fell and I forced him away from my Mama. I turned right around and got sick. I sobbed and I screamed before I eventually passed out in my Mama’s arms. It stank like death.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He paused again. Vaggie spoke up. </p>
<p>	“Listen, Alastor, you don’t have to keep going. We get it. If you don’t want to keep going you don’t have to.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alastor finally peeled his eyes away from the ceiling and looked at the other demon. </p>
<p>	“Oh, this isn’t the worst. I’m only to age 9. Of course, if you aren’t comfortable with me continuing, I’ll stop.” The deer replied, taming his accent again and forcing his face back to his usual, manic grin. </p>
<p>“D-Do you want to continue? If you don’t want to, you don’t have to, Al. Just know that we’re among friends here, and no one is going to judge you for what happened to you or what you did when you were alive.” Charlie spoke up, her voice remarkably stable considering the tears slipping down her cheeks. </p>
<p>Alastor paused, considering, before he looked back up and took a deep breath.</p>
<p>	“If you’d have me, I would like to keep talking about it. On one condition: None of you are allowed to repeat anything that you hear here, unless it’s to each other. If word of any of this gets out, I will personally hunt you down and watch you suffer as I erase you from existence.” </p>
<p>Angel was honestly impressed, he’d never heard anyone sound so vulnerable and so terrifying at the same time. </p>
<p>	“Okay,” Charlie said, nodding, “I promise we won’t talk about it to anyone except each other. Feel free to keep going.”</p>
<p>Alastor’s smile tightened slightly. </p>
<p>	“Now, Nifty, dear, I know that Husk covered your ears last time, but I need to know if you’re okay with hearing about this.” He paused, extending a hand to the small demon, “I don’t mean to treat you like a child, but I know you aren’t fond of stories involving non consensual acts.” </p>
<p>Nifty smiled, grabbing Alastor’s hand and squeezing it, a rare show of affection between the two. </p>
<p>	“I think I can handle it. If I need you to stop, then I’ll let you know!” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alastor smiled and nodded, releasing the other’s hand. When he started speaking again, the static and fake cheer in his voice was almost completely gone. </p>
<p>	“Alright then, where did I leave off? Right. I spent the next two months living alone with the corpses of my parents in the yard. I ate what food we had, and once it spoiled I ate bugs and other things of the sort. I spent my days sleeping, sobbing, cleaning frantically, and getting sick. I slept every night outside, curled up in my mother’s arms as she decomposed. The process was sped up due to the humidity and heat. I stank like rotting meat, congealed blood, and death constantly. I was sickened by the odor at first, but eventually, I became used to it. Sometime around the one-month mark, I came outside after a day of doing whatever I could to retain what sanity I had left to find that my father’s corpse was on top of my mother’s.”</p>
<p>	“Now, of course, I know that an animal likely dragged him there, but at the time I was shoved head-first into a panic-fueled rage, remembering him violating her corpse all that time ago. I went inside, grabbed a knife, and ran back outside before dragging him away from her and stabbing him 23 times in the chest. It was easy, the flesh was rotting so it was more like slicing butter than meat. Once I came down enough to stop, I turned and got sick. Then, I grabbed a shovel and began to dig, a few feet away from where my mother was laying. Once it was deep enough, I dragged my father into the pit, getting sick again from the feeling of the flesh, squirming with maggots, under my fingers.”</p>
<p>	“After that, I crawled back to my mother, curling up against her again and I passed out, surrounded by the stench of decomposing flesh and my own sick.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Somehow it gets even worse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Again, it somehow gets worse.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please yall, if you can't read this then DON'T. There is a lot of triggering content. Stay safe.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alastor paused as everyone took a minute to process all of that. Angel felt sick, himself, at the thought of it. Charlie was crying, as was Nifty. Husk looked sympathetic, (which was saying something) but unsurprised, strengthening Angel’s theory that Husk had already heard all of this. Vaggie’s scowl was all but gone, replaced with something close to pity as she hugged her girlfriend. Alastor’s smile was dark and sad, though it stayed a smile all the same. </p>
<p>	“After two months, someone came to check on us. They had missed my Papa at work and wanted to know if he was alright. They smelled the rotting meat and got the cops. The police found me asleep in the arms of what was practically a skeleton at this point. They took me in for questioning and for a shower. I told them about my mother’s suicide, though I said that my father had left instead of being killed. They believed me. They sent me to live with a kind old lady.”</p>
<p>	“At first, I couldn’t live like a normal person. I didn’t speak, I ate like a wild animal, I slept outside or on the floor, I refused to shower and I rubbed dead animals on my hands for the comfort of the familiar smell. After almost five months, I began to act more like a person. I ate normally, I slept on a bed, I cleaned myself. She was a wonderful woman, though she didn’t compare to my Mama. I was happy. I stayed with her for nearly two years before she suffered a heart attack and died in her bed. I didn’t know what to do or who to call, so I curled up next to her and fell asleep in the familiar stench of death. Within a week, she began to rot. It smelled like decomposing meat everywhere and I sobbed and was sick almost daily as I was no longer used to the odor.” </p>
<p>	“Eventually, the police came to check in on us, as they did every month, and they found me sitting on the floor in the kitchen with the smell of death everywhere. They brought me in to the station again and I told them what had happened. They found someone else for me to live with. I was 11.” He stopped, his voice tapering off. </p>
<p>	“Alastor, are you alright?” Charlie asked, her voice wavery with tears. Alastor seemed to snap back to attention. </p>
<p>	“Ah! Of course! I am just...not the biggest fan of this part.” He admitted, smile wide as ever. Charlie nodded and gave him a second to collect himself. The deer took a deep breath before continuing. </p>
<p>	“I moved in with a man. He was around 50. He was friendly, too friendly. He liked to grab my thighs and squeeze my neck. He didn’t hit me like my Papa had, so I let him, but I hated it. Two months after I moved in, he put drugs in my food. I was dizzy and practically asleep, and he dragged me to my bed. He…” Alastor paused, swallowing hard, “He stripped me down and he started to...violate me. Within two hours, I was fully conscious again, but I wasn’t strong enough to move. I screamed and cried and begged but he refused to stop. He was done with me after three hours. He left me, filthy and sticky and disgusting. I limped to the bathroom and curled up on the floor of the shower and scrubbed at my skin until I bled.” </p>
<p>Angel was in shock, as was everyone else (except Husk). Charlie had one hand over her mouth, eyes wide and full of sorrow at the description. Vaggie was in a similar position, her face partly buried into Charlie’s hair. Nifty was crying, curled up in a hug from Husk. The cat demon looked sad and upset, but he still didn’t look surprised. Angel could almost cry, himself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I Don't Even Know How It's Still Getting Worse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alastor hit rock bottom when he was like 8 and just kept falling.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yall know the drill. Please stay safe if any of this is triggering.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alastor sighed and continued, his smile tight and grim.</p>
<p>	“He did it at least once a week after that. Within three months I stopped fighting him. I just sat there, limp and sobbing, until he was done. This went on for more than four years. I felt disgusting all the time, I sobbed and was sick and weak. I was terrified of men, especially ones that were in the 40-60 age range. I refused to eat anything until I was so hungry I would almost pass out. Once or twice, the man had to physically shove food down my throat. I sobbed and panicked every time I ate and went to the bathroom, forced to relive the sensations I felt weekly each time. I tried to commit suicide more times than I remember, usually failing die to my ‘guardian’s’ work or due to my own weakness.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>	“Almost five years in, he did it daily. Every single day was hell, I was weak and afraid and docile. I hated everything, I hated myself, I hated my body, but most of all, I hated him. One night, he took a knife and slashed at my chest while he violated me. He said that he ‘missed my pretty sounds’. I snapped. I grabbed the knife from his hand and stabbed him in the neck. He screamed and choked on his own blood and I stabbed him dozens upon dozens of times. Finally, he went silent. I curled up against the wall as far away from him as possible and sobbed. I woke up the next day and showered, rubbing my skin raw until it bled. Then, I got dressed, grabbed my things, and I left.”</p>
<p>	“I simply walked out the door and left. I walked for at least 48 hours without ever stopping to rest before I made it to New Orleans. Once there, I collapsed in an alleyway. I woke up to an old drunken man raping me. I murdered him too, bashing his head against a wall and then stabbing him with the same knife I had murdered the other. I crawled to a different alley and fell asleep again.” </p>
<p>Charlie cut in. </p>
<p>	“Alastor, I-I hope y-you don’t mind me a-asking, but why in t-the world would t-that drunk man r-r-rape you?!” She asked, he voice creaky from crying.</p>
<p>Alastor smiled sadly. </p>
<p>	“I’m not sure, if I must be honest. The sheer amount of times it occurred makes me wonder too.” </p>
<p>Angel was scarily close to crying. </p>
<p>“Al, h-how old were you at this point…?” The spider demon asked. Alastor looked down.</p>
<p>“Around 16.” </p>
<p>Everyone was silent for a moment as that sank in.</p>
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